World Cup 2014: Germany vs. Brazil
Spoiler alert: Germany stomped Brazil. In what would turn out to be the most Tweeted about sporting event in history to date, Germany annihilated the host team to gain an unprecedented World Cup semi-final victory.
The first five minutes of play gave no indication that the match would be anything less than a well-battled fight to the finish—despite the fact that Brazil was missing their star player due to injury. At the 11’ mark, Germany found themselves officially on the board, courtesy of Muller. This was merely the calm before the storm.
At the 23’, 24’, 26’, and 29’ minute marks Klose, Kroos (x2), and Khedira scored four back-to-back goals. Shut. The. Front. Door! That really happened—and in case anybody lost count there for a minute, Brazil’s points total still came to 0. 29 minutes into the game, it was Germany 5, Brazil 0. Klose’s goal broke the record previously held by Ronaldo, which served to add insult to injury for Brazil fans and players alike. The score remains unchanged up to half-time.
At the 46’ mark, Paulinho and Ramirez came in for Brazil, and Mertesacker was in for Germany. Brazil made a notable effort in the first ten minutes or so of the second half, but Germany maintained their lead with relative ease. 60’ into the game, Klose is replaced with Schurrle in what would prove to be a lucrative substitution.
Schurrle brought Germany their 6th goal at the 69’ mark, and Brazil used their final substitution to replace Fred with Willian. At this point, Brazil fans are crying in the stands, and the emotional state of the host-team is bleak (to say the least). As if to further cement the validity of his substitution, Schurrle scored again at the 79’ mark, bringing the score to Germany-7, and Brazil-0. The Brazil crowd applauded the goal, proving that they are both gracious hosts and good sports.
In the final minutes, Brazil’s Oscar scores the team’s only goal. Germany appeared infuriated that they relinquished their hold on Brazil’s goose egged score, but the final whistle blew shortly thereafter, and history was made as the final numbers stood at Germany-7, Brazil-1. Fans and fantasy fans alike were either in shock or ecstasy once the dust cleared. Germany advances to the finals, while Brazil will play for third place Saturday.
Julia Randall is still cheering for Team U.S.A. despite the fact that they are no longer competing. When she’s not monitoring her fantasy draft picks, you can find her watching the World Cup action and shouting “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL” at every available opportunity.